Something i said about my future i like :)

My educational goal is to become the constructive change in society i wish to see. Through tools of writing and teaching, i want to be an advocate of freedom, hope and value. Freedom from prejudices and ignorance, hope to the powerless and the invisible, and ultimately value in one's self and each other as humans. In this i will have my reward, a satisfaction beyond measure, comfort no money can buy.  :)
"I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires." -Khalil Gibran

Sorrow Tomorrow

Seldom do I write these songs of sorrow
Oh! How I long for tomorrow...
Yester' eves were the thoughts, thought to be comforting
But only to find them, leave one with wanting

To question would increase my plight
But to not, would only grow my heart faint
Would this sadness ever end?
Would my troubles ever cease?
To never sorrow about today nor long for tomorrow
Wouldn't that be a good moral!?

True Love

I regret the day i met you...
The day i let you walk into my life
I regret the times we spent together
For those times were not a waste then, -but it seems like they should've not happened

Why does things tend to get complicated?
Why do the decisions of a heart not independent -affecting me or the other ?
I question the feelings i have for you, the very reason for the situation i am in now.

Life is not a game we play but often love is...
But why are the rules of love ever changing and not life
Why is love always a question when life is not...
If life was to live, should not love just be to love?

But why does it hurt to love sometimes?
And why is it hard to love in other times...?
Questioning something that has no solutions can be a mere definition for love
But love without answers is not true love

True Love is ever present and never revealed
True Love is life, a love that is lived not felt
True Love is a secret shared only by two
But it can never be found in person, but True Love finds you...

True Freedom

I am like a lost cause... walking the streets of Chico,
With many thoughts i go from wonder to yonder
with every step taken life changes but the thoughts remain
for they are life's ponders

In seldom moments we realize life's goodness,
Those moments that define life...
But in these moments prevail distractions
Which take away the definition of one's life itself...

To be sensitive to the Spirit is my caution
To not be distracted is my command...
But to reminiscent the present is my duty
To finish what i have is my desire...

Help me Lord to walk in Your precision
That i may do Your will and not my banter
For in You there is purpose
And only in Your purpose there is True Freedom...

Feelings...

Inspired everyday i come into Your presence
To learn from You, to find out more -i run to You

Days go by and months follow
Life moves from glimpse to glimpse

Everyday fully lived every month cherished -life goes on

But in a sudden... fear strikes, times change
To find out all that feeling can go away
To admit a mistake was the case

How fragile our spiritual existence?
How quickly can we be parted?
How one's action can determine life's reactions?
A physical fault can cripple your soul
A choice insignificant can predict life's senses....

Thank You Lord that, there is hope in You and not in our feelings
That we can ever stand in Your Word and not be in fear of our failures
That Your victory and peace is long lasting
Your comfort and Grace is never ending

Failures we are, made complete
Imperfect beings made victorious...
To live life and run this race
To do Your will and rest in Your peace
To accept Change and not defeat
To glorify You and live Your ways

Thank You Lord that You teach me Your ways
Your ways of change and not just feelings
That i may be moulded into the vessel You want me to be
and not the vessel that feels good to be
Thank You Lord...

Seasons...

it often seems like:
i live in a world dominated by seasons,
seasons of love
seasons of hurt
seasons of happiness
seasons of loneliness
seasons of joy
and seasons of hope
i struggle to remember the things of my past
the past which i long to see again in my future
i constantly remind myself of what i had
but with everyday it feels more and more like a distant illusion
-like a dream which once was, which fades away with the dawn of the day


a family filled with love, joy and happiness with no room for sorrow or emptiness
everyday was Christmas, Easter or a holiday, a day to celebrate and just enjoy each others mere company -true joy, with the sole purpose to be shared with as many as possible


Oh how i miss my past, how i miss the tears of joy and sorrow
they are memories of sweet joy to me today, to know then i was known without any explanations or introductions
when i was accepted for who i was and not what i would become.
i miss seeing the faces who look at you with hope that "one day this kid will make a difference in this world"-my hope
the same ones who never hesitate to tell me when i am wrong and correct me...


what has become of my life today!!!!
i live everyday to fulfill the requirements of the hour
to not waste the possibility of achieving the productivity of a minute
constantly on a role
a cycle of endless chores, activities, assignments, whatever one might call it
a cycle of revolving life,
life like the different seasons,
which embrace you with surprise, inspiration and hope....
but leave you longing...
i am not lonely i just miss my family....

Addiction

After many a days I write

Write about the things of my past which are ever present

Silent haunting which slow one’s life to the extent there is only despair

Overcome struggles are staring at you only this time with more pain to go through- an addiction

Choosing to relive in pain every moment even though it is the slow suicide of the soul

Not wanting to question, lost in confusion…

To be alone, to be in sorrow, desperate for change

Knowing what to do, but is it worth it if I kept failing?

Why give up a fight that was already won for you…

When failure is not a consequence but a choice, what then?

Addiction- so subtle yet deadly

So common yet rare in one’s mind

Is there ever any deliverance? Will there be any freedom? Is there even any hope?